So there’s this girl that I have known for many years. Well, she’s not a girl anymore, more like a teenager. Anyhow, I hadn’t seen her for about a year or so and then our paths crossed just the other day.
We chatted for a bit asking each other about life, when all of a sudden she blurted out, “I’m pregnant.” I was blown away. She grew up in the church and she always struck me as a “good” girl, certainly not the sleeping around type. I wasn’t sure if I should congratulate her or feel bad for her.
Before I could dig myself into an awkward hole, she mentioned that she is engaged and will be getting married soon. I couldn’t believe my ears. Married? She still seems like a kid to me.
I hesitantly asked her if she was marrying the baby’s father. She chuckled and said that she wasn’t. She continued by saying that he was a little hesitant at first but has come to grips with the situation.
The situation? Yeah what a situation she has gotten herself into! She didn’t ask my opinion but I don’t think she is old enough to be having a baby much less considering getting married.
I asked about the baby’s father, and then she smiled and said that she actually never had sex before. I laughed as condescendingly as I possibly could and I told her that I’m not stupid. Her smiled faded a little as she told me that no one she has told believed her either except her cousin.
I was starting to get irritated at her and I said that I know how babies are made, I’ve made a few myself. There’s really one way to get pregnant and it generally requires unprotected sex.
She agree and assured me that she knew all about that too, but insisted that she’d never had sex with a guy. In fact, she said she hasn’t even kissed this dude she’s supposedly engaged to!
This was too funny! Is this girl insane? Then the thought crossed my mind that maybe she really isn’t pregnant at all, so I asked her about that. It seemed like a logical question to me. Then she whipped out an ultrasound photo and handed it to me. My next reaction was to think that I was on a hidden camera show or something, but she assure me that this was not a joke. In fact, she told me to feel her belly and sure enough the little guy kicked me! What a little punk.
My mind was racing back and forth with thoughts that this girl is either a bold-faced liar or she’s totally bonkers and should be institutionalized. I do feel bad for her though. No one is going to believe the absurd story she told me about an angel talking to her and telling her she’s going to have a kid. That wasn’t an angel sweetie!
Try as hard as I did, I was not able to crack her though. She stuck to her story. She said that her parents and family were really pissed. In fact, her fiance’ Joe was pretty upset about it all too at first, but that and angel came to him too and said it’s all legit. Whatever.
She was going on and on about her baby being so special. I told her that we all think our kids are special. But Mary insisted that her kid will be more special than the rest and change the world or something. I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.
Oh well, only time will tell.
(This story didn’t really happen to me, but if it did this is probably how I would have reacted.)